There’s a topic that keeps coming up in and around my life, so I figured it’s worth talking about. I call it "The Big Bubble Burst" (aka. the BBB). Maybe you’re familiar with the idea, but if not, here’s the background….
The Background
You’re working in a job, you feel confident in what you’re doing, you’re being productive and effective (or at least you think you are). You walk into your Annual Performance Review meeting and you’re put on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan) – Big Bubble Burst!
You meet a partner, build a relationship, things are going swell (or so you think) then they tell you they aren’t happy and want to break up – Big Bubble Burst!
The Big Bubble Burst is like cruising along the highway at 70mph then slamming into a brick wall. The feeling is jarring. It’s hard. Hell, it’s painful. It’s the feeling of knowing followed by the abrupt realization that we had no idea. It’s feeling one way, self-assured, confident, and then being told “you’re oh so very wrong, friend”. It’s the feeling of happiness, comfort, the surety followed by the insecurity of unknowing, or worse yet, being told how clueless you were really were all along.
But... WHY??
But what causes this feeling? Missed expectations? A need for external validation? Little signs along the way that were ignored?
In my exploration, there are many possibilities.
Remedies to the BBB. In life, all situations, people, encounters, environments, etc is data, and all data provides valuable feedback for us to learn and grow, once we’re able to detach from the reactions. Mindfulness teaches us to respond rather than react. A reaction is deep-seeded, maybe even muscle memory, a reaction that you don’t even want to have. It may not align with your beliefs in the moment, but it’s so deeply engrained in you that you can’t stop that train from coming. Mindfulness teaches us to stop, acknowledge the feeling, give it the awareness/recognition it desires, then explore it further. When we try to contain or suppress these feelings, it only tries to scream louder. It wants to be heard, so let’s hear it out. Give that feeling a chance to make its presence known and be able to ask it’s meaning. Explore how it feels. Explore what’s underneath it all. Pull the string and watch the whole sweater unravel before your eyes. Uncover the deeper beliefs. If this is true, who does that make me? Am I worth it? What is my real worth?
The Fallout from the BBB
Here we are now, standing on unsteady ground where we once felt solid. Surrounded by instability, ready to come crashing down at any moment. Ready to fall into the depths of hell without ever knowing the cliff existed. Looking out and around, we see a world riddled with nuclear poisoning, a place where anywhere we touch could mean sickness and death. It’s Chernobyl. It’s Mount Saint Helens, it’s Mount Vesuvius. How do you take that next step, now knowing it could mean sudden death? It’s all in how we show up next. Are we brave? Are we cautious? Are we careless? Do we jump without looking? Do we break out the microscope before each next step?
How do we recover?
How do we smooth the barriers between our perceived world and reality? Is there even really a difference? Our outer world reflects our inner world. If our inner world is safe, peaceful, secure, stable & strong, our outer world will be so too. The next step is to take a long hard look at what our inner world looks like. What does safety mean? How can we come back to feeling stable? All great areas to discuss with your coach! Your coach can help you walk through these scenarios and improve your self-awareness around your reaction and define your perception. Once the deep down stuff is discovered, there is an opportunity for healing, strength and confidence to shine through. Contact your coach for more support.
All the best in all your self-awareness discoveries!
The Beacon Coach, Meagan Grant
